Be Firm With Your Boy But Kind

One of the things I kept in mind when I dealt with children was to be clear about what I meant or wanted, while at the same time, I remained controlled, calm and kind. I noted that children were little human beings that had feelings and emotions that could be hurt or damaged and that their future depended on the experiences they’ve had over time. I saw situations where children were dealt with in very harsh ways that were really unnecessary. Whatever the point was that authority figures wanted to get over could have been done with kindness. The power plays were often quite evident in the interplay between children and authority figures and I made it a duty not to indulge in that kind of mistreatment of children, mine or other people’s.

I did my Bachelor of Education degree at the University of Toronto, and had an Environmental Science class with professor Bill Andrews. Professor Andrews and I talked often about teacher student relations and I recalled two takeaways that I got from the many conversations that we had. The first was that many teachers gave children a hard time. Now, you may well agree with that. I sure did remember one of my teachers who seemed to take pleasure in calling children embarrassing names as if to shame them. Certainly that’s not why children are sent to school. But, that happens and it should not. However, Professor Andrews said, “We don’t have to join to folks that give children a hard time”. That has never left me to this day. As I work with children in whatever setting, I think of making their lives a joyous and exciting experience. The other thing I got from Professor Andrews was his strategy of making children see my urgency in a request, by using the expression: “right now!” with a slightly raised voice. It worked without fail. It also avoided unpleasant backs and-forth and increasing arguments.

Children in general and boys in particular need to be acknowledged for who they are, what they’ve accomplished — however litter it appears to us, and they need to be encouraged to do the best they can. This must always be done with kindness. When they have to be corrected as often they must, that too must be done in manners that are firm but kind. It can be done and the results will be healthy. There is no worse feeling than a child to think that punishment is always being meted out with very little opportunity for correction. I remember telling many teachers that children should be corrected and criminals should be punished. After all, our little boys, indeed our teenagers need a lot of correction click here they need a lot of guidance. If you were to ask them they will tell you just that, too.

Let’s show our boys the beauty that they possess instead of making them feel that they only produce ugliness. Let’s not judge them simply by what we see externally. We can upgrade our methods of evaluation by recognizing that our boys are not only what we can see or hear about them. What they are deeper than their external attributes. When they speak, we must listen closely and be very slow to comment on what we hear. We must ask clarifying questions and think of the results of what we say. What we say must be filled with assurance, understanding, encouragement, and love. What a difference there will be if we do this for our boys. What a change there will be for them and for us, our communities, our world. For some helpful tips that teachers can use are found in this article, click here

Until next time. Remember to purchase a copy of my bestselling book: DEFEATING THE ENEMY TO YOUR SUCCESS –How to Break Through to a Life of Wealth Creation and Freedom.

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It Feels Like Everybody is Against Me

Have you ever been at a point in your life where you felt that nothing was going right simply because everyone was against you? As irrational as that may seem, the way the feeling is explained by some who felt that way is that it seems that while others around them got a break or two for doing wrong things, they never seem to qualify for a break. One boy said< "that really hurts; it hurts a lot".

The thing is that, unless one has the capacity to empathize with that feeling, there could very easily be the thought that boys who act out because they feel that everyone is against them, are just weaklings who are incapable of coping with the contours of life. They do not have what it takes to survive and that is their problem. Have you ever dismissed someone's behaviour even though you did not know what caused it? I think a lot of us do just that. How often do we take the time to ask the appropriate questions that could better inform our thinking and hence our responses?

I believe that we can all agree that there are people who do not know why they never get breaks. Getting a break is for most people a bid deal. Imagine you were speeding, got stopped by the police who proceeded to walk back to the police vehicle with the seeming intention to write up a ticket. As he returned, you heard, "I'm giving you a break this time, but be careful to drive at the speed limit". Wouldn't your fast beating heart slow down and you breathe a sigh of relief? You can share a positive story with your family and friends, and you would think nicely of the officer. You see, unlike many things, getting a break is a bid deal and when there are those who never seem to have that kind of experience, it can be very frustrating and feel like, "everybody is against them".

I've come across scores of boys who tell me that they don't understand why they always seem to be on the wrong side of authorities, be they parents or teachers, and worse yet, the police. As a school principal, I relished the opportunity to give a child who seemed to be constantly "in trouble" a break. Very often such children took the act of forgiveness as a launching point to exhibit better behaviour. It brings me to the other point of this discussion, the act of forgiveness. To forgive is to take the sting out of any unpleasant experience. Forgiveness benefits both the person receiving forgiveness and the person giving it. Both persons receive a measure of wellness. And to forgive is not letting someone get away with wrong. What is does really is giving the offender a path to wholeness.

What I am saying is that we must invest in forgiveness more than we do condemning. Let's give our boys hope that things will get better. Give them a break here and there. After all, they are in construction and if you realize a construction site, it's really very messy during the building stage. But, when the building is finished, when everything is cleaned up, what a marvelous sight!

There is marvel within our boys. The construction state is often messy, but, let's understand the process and work with them. Stand where they stand. Sit where they sit. Listen to them and hear them out. They have marvelous designs within them. Now it's left for us to lead out those wonderful designs. Let's do it for them and for us.

Until next time. For more ideas to help us train our boy, get a copy of my blueprint for success book: DEFEATING THE ENEMY TO YOUR SUCCESS — How to Break Through to a Life of Wealth Creation and Freedom. Get your copy, now!

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Tell Your Boys That You Love Them

“Always be thankful for what you have and tell your loved ones that you love them every single day because you can never predict when your life you’ve always known can be taken away from you”.

These were the words of a man after being released from prison. He was tried and found guilty for a crime that he did not commit. At age 19, his life was suddenly changed when he was picked from a lineup as the person who had committed the crime under investigation. I could only imagine, how his parents felt to know that their son, their teenage son, their promise, would no longer be able to pursue the dreams that he had.

This might be a good time, to get you son or sons and express to them how much you love them and how much you support them. Because the odds are so much against them, the work to preserve them must be greater. The hedge of protection must be thicker and higher to prevent the dangers that lurk along their path.

I cannot imagine losing my son for something that he did, much more for something that he did not do. Yet, that is the reality of tens of thousands of teenage boys in many North American cities.

It’s time to stem this storm. Time to end this cycle so that our boys can have a chance at growing into their God- ordained destiny. It is rare for a child to survive the rigours of life on his own. It is tough to see that in a land of so much that so little is happening to ensure that all boys are given the care and attention they need to grow up and make a positive contribution to the world. We sent people to the moon. We go into the outer reaches of space. Attempts are underway to visit other planets. We build machines to simplify and speed up production of various kinds. But, we neglect members of our human family. We categorize and attach grotesque labels to groups for selfish and other nefarious reasons.

It may take more time for the unmasking of our true selves so that we can face up to the disturbing results of our selfishness and account for the damage done to our children. It is our duty to love, defend, protect, and provide for the best future our children can have. Since we cannot predict the future, and they cannot grow without us, let us, at least, be there to show them our love. So, tell them; tell them often that you love them and that you are proud of them. You are proud of all of them; everything about them — mistakes and all. Know that the greatest gift that you can give to your boys is your love.

Here’s some homework for you: Acknowledge and celebrate your children, especially your boys. Surprise them with something they love.

Until next time. Please like my posts and share with your friends. Thanks.

For more ideas and tips on achieving success in parenting, get a copy of my book: DEFEATING THE ENEMY TO YOUR SUCCESS — How to Break Through to a Life of Wealth Creation and Freedom.

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A Few Parental Impact Tips

I believe that we can all agree that parenting teenagers is not easy. If it were, this would be a happy world with many happy families enjoying the presence of teenage children as they grow into their purpose in life. Sadly though, today’s teenagers are witnessing a variety of incidents across societies that alarm and confuse. They cannot believe that the patterns of adult life is what they must aspire to and they are unclear about what to do in a world that seems to have no sense of a good future. The revelations of bad behaviours among governmental and religious leaders, the erosion of trust among teacher/student relationships, the absence of fathers in the home resulting in mothers being thrust into the role of raising children on their own, and so much more.

So the question for many teenagers becomes a simple: What do we do when there seems to be no moral compass to guide their path? Yet, in the midst of this seeming chaos, there are candles of hope, parents who have avoided many challenges that destroy too many teenagers. They recognize that their actions must always speak louder than their words; that they are better showing what to do and how to live, rather than talking about it or entering into verbal condemning of teenage misdeeds.

As we keep in mind that there is nothing easy about parenting, we can still find some things that develop and nurture good relationships with teenage children. Here’s something that parents find to be very effective — Write a letter to your teenage children. In the letter, say how proud you are of them, how excited you are that they are a part of your family, and how wonderful it is to see how they are planning their future. Speak about the facts of your own teenage life, that it was not without its mistakes. That will undoubtedly take away the false notion that they have to be “perfect”. Too many teenagers are suffering under the burden of trying to live without making mistakes. It is such a needless burden and we need to take it off the backs of teenagers.

Let your teenagers know that you support them 100% in their development and that you are always on the ready to help them with questions that they may have and to provide guidance.

Do not hesitate to tell your teens that you love them. Yes, it seems simple; it might even seem trite, to you, but, the teenagers, word are very powerful. They may not mention it, but they like to know that they are love, they are valued, that you are happy to have them in your family.

Do you really believe that we learn from our mistakes? Yes, you say? Then when you teens make mistakes, do not take out your frustration or disappointment on them. That may be hard to do, but, it is what you must do. What your teen do may be embarrassing, like becoming pregnant or getting another person pregnant. It is not the end of the world, nor, is it the first of its kind. Do you know other people who have made big mistakes, and many of them are not making tremendous contributions to life? Show love in the heart of the mistake. Better not to talk but to embrace and give assurance that you are there to help them through.

Just a few tips to make that change in the life of your teens and vicariously, in your life as well. Love with purpose and passion.

Take a look at this video. It is quite informative.

Remember to purchase a copy of my best selling book for more tips on raising your teenage children, especially your boys.

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How to Look Forever Young

Cindy Crawford is the name that for the most part is defining the notion of aging for the past two decades. Cindy is under 50 years old and has been known to have the look of a person several years younger than her chronological age.
Cindy found something that works to make her skin retain its youthful appearance. Today, many women are replicating what Cindy has done in an effort, not to look like Cindy, but to have a youthful look all their own.
When something works, it has within it the power to attract people to it. That is what I’ve found with Iaso Tea. This tea acts like a detox agent, so much so, many people who drink 2 cups of Iaso tea daily find that they feel healthier and realize that they begin to lose weight.
That is exactly what I have done. I have tried Iaso Tea, 2 cups a day and I noticed in a very short time that I’ve started to lose weight.
You should not take my work for it; try it yourself.
Here is where you can find it:

images albert