I believe that we can all agree that parenting teenagers is not easy. If it were, this would be a happy world with many happy families enjoying the presence of teenage children as they grow into their purpose in life. Sadly though, today’s teenagers are witnessing a variety of incidents across societies that alarm and confuse. They cannot believe that the patterns of adult life is what they must aspire to and they are unclear about what to do in a world that seems to have no sense of a good future. The revelations of bad behaviours among governmental and religious leaders, the erosion of trust among teacher/student relationships, the absence of fathers in the home resulting in mothers being thrust into the role of raising children on their own, and so much more.
So the question for many teenagers becomes a simple: What do we do when there seems to be no moral compass to guide their path? Yet, in the midst of this seeming chaos, there are candles of hope, parents who have avoided many challenges that destroy too many teenagers. They recognize that their actions must always speak louder than their words; that they are better showing what to do and how to live, rather than talking about it or entering into verbal condemning of teenage misdeeds.
As we keep in mind that there is nothing easy about parenting, we can still find some things that develop and nurture good relationships with teenage children. Here’s something that parents find to be very effective — Write a letter to your teenage children. In the letter, say how proud you are of them, how excited you are that they are a part of your family, and how wonderful it is to see how they are planning their future. Speak about the facts of your own teenage life, that it was not without its mistakes. That will undoubtedly take away the false notion that they have to be “perfect”. Too many teenagers are suffering under the burden of trying to live without making mistakes. It is such a needless burden and we need to take it off the backs of teenagers.
Let your teenagers know that you support them 100% in their development and that you are always on the ready to help them with questions that they may have and to provide guidance.
Do not hesitate to tell your teens that you love them. Yes, it seems simple; it might even seem trite, to you, but, the teenagers, word are very powerful. They may not mention it, but they like to know that they are love, they are valued, that you are happy to have them in your family.
Do you really believe that we learn from our mistakes? Yes, you say? Then when you teens make mistakes, do not take out your frustration or disappointment on them. That may be hard to do, but, it is what you must do. What your teen do may be embarrassing, like becoming pregnant or getting another person pregnant. It is not the end of the world, nor, is it the first of its kind. Do you know other people who have made big mistakes, and many of them are not making tremendous contributions to life? Show love in the heart of the mistake. Better not to talk but to embrace and give assurance that you are there to help them through.
Just a few tips to make that change in the life of your teens and vicariously, in your life as well. Love with purpose and passion.
Take a look at this video. It is quite informative.
Remember to purchase a copy of my best selling book for more tips on raising your teenage children, especially your boys.