Be Firm With Your Boy But Kind

One of the things I kept in mind when I dealt with children was to be clear about what I meant or wanted, while at the same time, I remained controlled, calm and kind. I noted that children were little human beings that had feelings and emotions that could be hurt or damaged and that their future depended on the experiences they’ve had over time. I saw situations where children were dealt with in very harsh ways that were really unnecessary. Whatever the point was that authority figures wanted to get over could have been done with kindness. The power plays were often quite evident in the interplay between children and authority figures and I made it a duty not to indulge in that kind of mistreatment of children, mine or other people’s.

I did my Bachelor of Education degree at the University of Toronto, and had an Environmental Science class with professor Bill Andrews. Professor Andrews and I talked often about teacher student relations and I recalled two takeaways that I got from the many conversations that we had. The first was that many teachers gave children a hard time. Now, you may well agree with that. I sure did remember one of my teachers who seemed to take pleasure in calling children embarrassing names as if to shame them. Certainly that’s not why children are sent to school. But, that happens and it should not. However, Professor Andrews said, “We don’t have to join to folks that give children a hard time”. That has never left me to this day. As I work with children in whatever setting, I think of making their lives a joyous and exciting experience. The other thing I got from Professor Andrews was his strategy of making children see my urgency in a request, by using the expression: “right now!” with a slightly raised voice. It worked without fail. It also avoided unpleasant backs and-forth and increasing arguments.

Children in general and boys in particular need to be acknowledged for who they are, what they’ve accomplished — however litter it appears to us, and they need to be encouraged to do the best they can. This must always be done with kindness. When they have to be corrected as often they must, that too must be done in manners that are firm but kind. It can be done and the results will be healthy. There is no worse feeling than a child to think that punishment is always being meted out with very little opportunity for correction. I remember telling many teachers that children should be corrected and criminals should be punished. After all, our little boys, indeed our teenagers need a lot of correction click here they need a lot of guidance. If you were to ask them they will tell you just that, too.

Let’s show our boys the beauty that they possess instead of making them feel that they only produce ugliness. Let’s not judge them simply by what we see externally. We can upgrade our methods of evaluation by recognizing that our boys are not only what we can see or hear about them. What they are deeper than their external attributes. When they speak, we must listen closely and be very slow to comment on what we hear. We must ask clarifying questions and think of the results of what we say. What we say must be filled with assurance, understanding, encouragement, and love. What a difference there will be if we do this for our boys. What a change there will be for them and for us, our communities, our world. For some helpful tips that teachers can use are found in this article, click here.click here

Until next time. Remember to purchase a copy of my bestselling book: DEFEATING THE ENEMY TO YOUR SUCCESS –How to Break Through to a Life of Wealth Creation and Freedom.


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