In the previous blog, I discussed the importance of listening. I referred to listening as the secret weapon. If you remembered, I talked about the fact that we have two ears and one tongue signifying that we need to listen twice as much as we speak. Just something that can be a good guide for many of us talkers.
Our boys want us to listen to them. If nothing else, as long as we can give them a listening ear, we can help them overcome a huge portion of the challenges they face and give them some hope of gaining ground and beating the odds. I am a firm believer in the probability of our boys getting past the barriers that forestall their destiny.
Just think about the contribution many boys who have been caught up in the penal system, wasting their lives away; boys that could have well found the cure for many diseases that continue to plague our human existence. We will never know what is lost in so many lives that fall into the catchment of the penal system. We will never know! But what we do know, is that, hope lies in the lives of those who are free. We can do the work that is required to set them on the pathway to success. That’s what we must do. No other option can be tolerated.
So, it’s time for school and your boy tells you that he does not want to go to school today. Have you ever had that situation happen to you? When your boy says that to you, what do you do? Do you insist that he pull himself together and journey on to school? Do you shame him for not wanting to go to school? Or, do you stop what you’re doing as you realize that there is a problem that needs your immediate attention?
You are right if you drop everything and give your boy a reassuring hug and calmly ask him to tell you what is hindering him from going to school. Whatever it is that is bothering him is a big deal to him and your job is to step up and “run interference”. Your job is to move the barrier or barriers that prevent him from dreading a place that should otherwise be fun to learn and develop in so many ways.
There are many boys who will go to school tomorrow and next week, and next month with the heaviest of hearts. If you only knew the tortured experience, your would do whatever it takes to provide a safe and reassuring experience for him. Your boy needs you to believe him, to support him, and to advise him. He is all you have and he is counting on you. But, how many of us misunderstand our boys and rather than give them what they need to learn and grow, we pass on to them similar experiences that we had. Experiences that were unhealthy, unfulfilling, and unsafe. So often, we visit the same kinds of misfortunes that we had ourselves upon our boys. Sad, you say, but true!
It’s about time that we break every insidious cycles that seem to be part of our ways of life. We were born for greatness. Our boys were born for noble purposes. If the lives are less than that, we should not rest; indeed, we cannot rest and allow our boys to suffer any more. I cannot help but imagine the scores of boys that need our help right now. If you have a boy in your family, this is a good time to check on him and begin a relationship of interest in his well-being. Tell him that he has the potential to be the greatest human being that he can be. Nothing less, is intolerable.
Until next time, let’s listen to our boys.
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