Let me begin today by saying that where boys are concerned, they will do anything they see other boys do — peer pressure, but they will also do what they see men do. Like it or not, boys look up to men as teachers, mentors, and examples.
When I was very little, I don’t remember if I had started school, but, if I did, I might have been in the very first standard (grade — Kindergarten). One day, I decided to find out what the fascination was about smoking, so, I took a discarded cigarette butt that was still lit and I began to smoke it. While in the act, I failed to look around to ensure that nobody was looking. Suddenly, I heard to voice of my dad rebuking me for putting the cigarette butt up to my lips.
In those days, deeds like that were met with a thrashing (spanking). It was long ago, so I do not recall the extent of the consequences. Needless to say, they are never good. Our parents subscribed to the notion “do as I say; not as I do”.
I did with the cigarette butt, but I saw many of the men doing. Although, I did not see any of my brothers smoking, my dad was my example, not my brothers. So although they did not smoke, that meant nothing to me. My teacher and model was my dad.
So, here’s the word to all dads, biological and otherwise, your boys are watching you to see what your actions teach them. They very well will be carbon copies of you. Knowing this, what will your posture be in your home and outside of your home. How will you treat others especially women. How your boy responds to the challenges of life will be, in large part, to what he observes about you.
Could it be that your boy is the way he is because of the way you are? Is it okay to take a self-check to understand how you may be affecting or infecting the boys in your influence. This influence can also come from men other than fathers. They can come from pastors, neighbours, teachers, professionals, and many more. And, don’t be taken by the saying, “boys will be boys”. The real truth is that boys will be men. Men are the ones they watch and will imitate.
Men –Can you say with confidence, I want my boy to be like me. Can you? If you can’t, you have some work to do. First, begin to show your boy lots of love. He is your boy. He was placed in your care. You can care for him. Don’t just rebuke him when he makes mistakes, especially when the mistakes are the kinds that you made when you were a boy. Talk to him about your experiences and love him through his faults and be the example you want him to be in life. He is depending on you and the world is depending on you, too.
Remember to buy my book on Amazon.
A copy of my book on Wealth Creation and Freedom